Lickshunmewah

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First things first. Thank you to everyone -all four of you lol – who entered to win “Write to Publish.”  Your comments were all very good. It’s never easy to pick a winner.  Congratulations Onibalusi! Your comment: “Another great reason I want to be a better writer is that it will help me easily get my guest posts on top blogs because they tend to focus more on the english of a post,” resonated with me the most.  Your prize is in the mail.

Today I want to use an excercise from “Write to Publish” which will help ‘sex up your blog posts.’  This is an excercise in showing, not telling. Before I do I would like to  point out that seeking feedback and workshopping your posts are two of the most effective ways to improve your writing. Membership to a writer’s group has many benefits. As Gina Perry explains:

By being exposed to the work of other people in the group as well as having your own work circulated and discussed you become a better reader, a better writer and a better editor of your own and other people’s work

Workshop

Have a go at rewriting the following ‘telling’ sentences so they show the reader what you mean. Remember to concentrate on sensory details:

Blogging is hard work

The bakery is located in delightful surrounds

The trip to the beach was fun

I look forward to reading your replies! Please share your rewritten sentences in the comments section. I look forward to reading what you come up with.

I have received emails from my readers asking for advice on how to improve their writing. They wanted to know everything from when is it best to use active versus passive voice; how can I become more confident with sentence arrangement; how do I write better sentences; to how and when do I use commas in compound sentences.  Today’s post will focus on:

• How and when to use commas in compound sentences
• How to write better sentences

Before I can address the first point it is necessary to define a compound sentence.  A compound sentence:

is composed of at least two independent clauses. It does not require a dependent clause. The clauses are joined by a coordinating conjunction (with or without a comma), a correlative conjunction (with or without a comma), or a semicolon that functions as a conjunction. A conjunction can be used to make a compound sentence (Wikipedia)

By way of introduction we may note first that when two coordinate clauses go to make up one sentence, each having a seperate subject for its verb, they shoud be seperated by a comma, thus:

His expert blogging tips were known to all, and his knowledge of affiliate marketing won him many fans.

But note that if the two clauses have the same subject, no comma is used:

At the bloggers boot camp John finally caught up with the other bloggers in his group and completed the set tasks.

Further discussions about compound sentences, clauses and pharases will continue in part III and will also be added to  the”Don’t Murder The Word” section of this blog in the coming days. Make sure to check back or subscribe via RSS.

Turning our attention to how do I write better sentences the first rule to follow is rather simple – write shorter ones!  I came across this sentence recently:  “I have been blogging for about 5 years now and in that time I have seen many changes to the blogosphere that have helped bloggers, such as twitter and facebook, and believe me blogging is a great way to network, learn new things and make money.”  Umm, yeah, whatever you say, man.  The author’s message woud have had much greater impact if it had been condensed into shorter sentences: “I have been blogging for about 5 years now. In that time I have seen many changes to the blogosphere, such as twitter and facebook. Believe me, blogging is a great way to network, learn new things and make money.” By writing shorter sentences you are also giving your reader a chance to pause and absorb the information they have just read.

Another way to write better sentences is to check your use of ‘there are’  and ‘there is.’ “There are many people who believe blogging is an art form,” is more effective written as “Many people believe blogging is an art form.” Similarily “There is a great list of recommendations readily available,” is more effective written as “A great list of recommendations is readily available.”

Have Your Say

Did you find this post useful? Why or why not? Do you think correct grammar is relevent in writing today?

Here’s the scene: a sales person is in your home telling you how wonderful and great their product is. You’re becoming bored with their ‘pitch’, perhaps even agitated, so you ask them to back up their claims by showing you the product in action. The unprepared sales person has forgotten to bring samples. They apologize and continue rambling about their product, finishing by asking nervously “so, would you be interested in purchasing today?”  You politely tell them “I’ll think about,” or “I need to talk to my partner about it.” Of course what you’re really saying is “Buddy, there’s no way I’m buying anything from you.” The sales person leaves empty handed. Apart from being unprepared and ignoring the number one rule of selling – shut up and sell – you didn’t buy off the salesperson because they were telling you how good their product was rather than showing you. They failed to convince you of the benefits of buying their product.

Are your readers buying from you or are they leaving empty handed?

I can assure you if you are telling them rather than showing they are leaving empty handed, just like our sales person. They may leave insightful and thoughtful comments but your posts will quickly be forgotten. We want our posts to resonate with the reader long after they’ve commented and one way of doing this is by showing  and not telling. So how do we show and not tell in writing? Below are some examples of telling and showing:

John was bored (telling)

John yawned, drummed his fingers on the table, checked his phone for messages, got out of his chair, checked his phone again, then slumped back into his chair and yawned (showing)

So you want to blog for a living? Take it from me, it’s not easy. In fact, it’s bloody hard work, especially in the beginning. But if you’re prepared to sacrifice your social life, put in the long hours and work hard you will get there. (telling)

In the beginning my eyes were bloodshot. The bags underneath them big enough for an actual person to live in. The tips of my fingers black and blue from typing. Friday night drinks with friends had morphed into micro-blogging on Twitter.  Then one morning, Eureka! I had made my first dollar. So you want to blog for a living? (showing)

The telling paragraphs are flat and mundane. They don’t resonate with the reader. The showing paragraphs, though slightly longer, are more likely to resonate with the reader, wouldn’t you agree?

Of course, there is a place for telling versus showing in blogging, as there is in any writing. The point is to know the difference and use each one for maximum effect.

Want More?

If you liked this post and feel you gained something from it please retweet and subscribe via RSS so you don’t miss out upcoming writing tips.  Additional ways to improve your blog posts can be found here.

Summary

• Telling rather than showing in writing can be like our annoying sales person. It can bore your reader and prevent them from ‘buying’ your message.
• Showing your reader means recording sensory details – the sights, smell, sounds and feel of things to create a vivid image that the reader can experience.
• Knowing when to use telling versus showing will improve your writing.

Have Your Say

So what do you think?  Does ‘showing’ have a place in blog writing or is it more suited to creative/feature writing?